In a culture that values sarcasm and humor over heartfelt openness, creating rich, meaningful friendships can be incredibly difficult. If you’re seeking out more substance in your relationships, how can you begin? In our Christian Perspectives on Relationships course, the panel – Drs. Erik and Donna Thoennes, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff, and Dr. Chris and Alisa Grace – share their thoughts in this Q&A session clip.

How you interact with another person is the most significant factor in establishing the type of communication climate that surrounds your relationship. In this chapel talk at Biola University, Dr. Tim Muehlhoff and his wife Noreen Muehlhoff delve into the 4 aspects of a communication climate and explain how to cultivate a healthy relationship.

We know that the Bible tells us that there will be no marriage in heaven. So, with that in mind, is there any eternal significance to marriage? How should we take that into account as we invest in our relationships today? In this video, Dr. Erik Thoennes explores what biblical marriage should look like in light of eternity.

An important way you can grow in spiritual intimacy with your spouse is to recognize how God created you and your partner to connect to Him. We are each made with different spiritual temperaments, and when we recognize the way our spouse is designed, we can more easily find opportunities and activities together that will support and encourage their connection to God. In this video, Dr. Chris Grace and Alisa Grace discuss the importance of understanding how your spouse connects to God. 

It’s happening again: your spouse made plans without telling you, or forgot to put the toilet seat down, or didn’t offer to do the dishes, and you’re seeing red. But are you really angry about the dishes? When emotions get triggered during hot button conflicts, it is important to be able to identify those hidden issues and understand what is happening at a deeper level. In this video, Dr. Chris Grace and Alisa Grace discuss how to understand one another and communicate when conflict arises in your relationship.

In today’s argument culture, we have lost the ability to cultivate healthy communication climates as we talk about controversial issues. The first step to having productive conversations is recognizing what a good communication climate looks like. In this video, Dr. Tim Muehlhoff shares four key aspects that must exist when speaking with someone who disagrees with you.

Before you give advice or make a judgment based on the first few words you hear from the other person, it is important to pause to seek understanding. Once you understand how that person arrived that their conclusion, then you will begin the right kind of relationship-building. Watch this video to hear Dr. Tim Muehlhoff address the number one problem between people who disagree with each other.

We live in an environment where disagreements turn ugly quickly, and our instinct is to return insult for insult - whether online or in person. However, responding in anger or becoming defensive results in unproductive and toxic conversations. In this video, Dr. Tim Muehlhoff shares a communication strategy that you can practice during disagreements to help the other person actually listen to what you are saying.