Journey Down Gratitude Lane: Cultivating Thankfulness This Thanksgiving

The writers of the Old and New Testaments connect love, peace, and joy with thankfulness. They provide a straightforward roadmap in the Bible for the journey ahead. For those seeking fulfilling relationships, loving families, and a life filled with blessings, the journey begins and ends on Gratitude Lane.

• "The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him."
  Psalm 28:7

• "Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things."
  Psalm 107:8–9

• "I always thank my God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus."
  1 Corinthians 1:4

• "Don’t be anxious about anything; rather, bring up all of your requests to God in your prayers and petitions, along with giving thanks."
  Philippians 4:6–7

• "Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!"
  Psalm 118:1

These verses are excellent preparation for the journey we’re on, reminding us of the hard times we’ve endured and the fertile ground of gratitude that awaits us. Early in my faith journey, I was challenged to memorize verses like these and to recall prayers of gratitude. Through these prayers, we discover the source of who we are and who we will become.

It is no surprise that researchers in the field of gratitude continue to find evidence that validates what ancient writers understood: grateful people are happier people. They are more satisfied with their lives, feel more joy, and experience higher levels of enthusiasm and pleasure. Research shows that couples who express gratitude for each other are more satisfied with their relationships. They feel closer, are more committed, value each other more, and are more generous toward each other.

Dr. Amie Gordon explains that gratitude helps spouses feel more committed by fostering an appreciation for each other’s value. A partner who is seen as valuable is worth holding onto. Her research highlights how gratitude can help relationships thrive by promoting a cycle of generosity: when we value and feel grateful for our spouses, we feel more committed to them. This leads us to be more attentive and responsive, increasing feelings of being valued and appreciated, which further enhances gratitude—completing the cycle. She notes:

"Gratitude includes appreciating not just what your partner does but who they are as a person. You’re not just thankful that your partner took out the trash—you’re thankful that you have a partner who is thoughtful enough to know you hate taking out the trash. Gratitude means thinking about all of your partner’s best traits and remembering why you got into a relationship with them in the first place."

Interestingly, Shaunti Feldhahn found that 72% of men are more powerfully affected by hearing "thank you" than by hearing "I love you." Additionally, 69% are profoundly impacted when their wives say, "You did a great job at that."

Dr. Robert Emmons, a leading scientific expert on gratitude, describes it as an affirmation of all the goodness in our lives and a recognition that many of these gifts come from God. Gratitude encourages us to see the goodness in life, leading to what he calls a "relationship-strengthening emotion," as it requires us to acknowledge how others have supported and affirmed us.

The Trip Down Gratitude Lane

One of the most powerful ways to begin your journey down Gratitude Lane is to commit to practicing gratitude. Write a gratitude vow, such as, "I commit to counting my blessings each day," and place it somewhere you’ll see daily.

Next, keep a gratitude journal. Regularly recording the things for which we are thankful helps our hearts and minds focus on the good in our lives, transforming our perspectives. In this journal—and throughout the day—practice speaking gratitude (e.g., "I feel blessed, fortunate..." or "I have an abundance of...") and acting gratefully (e.g., smiling, saying thank you, or writing letters of gratitude). These practices foster mindfulness, with visual reminders often serving as effective cues to trigger gratitude. (The best visual reminders are often other people.)

As we approach the holidays, we long for joyful times, surrounded by loved ones and homes filled with love. Thankfully, we already have the perfect roadmap, and its main road is Gratitude Lane.

May God bless and keep you. May your relationships be fulfilling, your families filled with love, and your life abundant with His blessings.