Skip to main content

Am I Being Manipulated?

Dear CMR,

I am in friendships that I am worried might be manipulative. What are some ways that I can recognize manipulation within friendships or relationships?


Curious and Questioning

Dear Curious,

We are made for relationships. We need each other.  We need the connectedness that relationships bring us. Relationships, when healthy, are incredible conduits of growth, connectedness, and joy. Unfortunately, however, relationships can also be unhealthy, and at times harmful. One of the factors that can make a relationship unhealthy is when manipulation is an issue. Manipulation can be overt, and it can also be subtle, flying below our radar. What are some ways that we can recognize manipulation in relationships?

In healthy relationships, there exists a robust consideration of the other and their wishes. Both parties take the time to find out what the other is thinking, feeling, wanting, and needing. If you find that in your relationship you seem to be making all the effort and your partner is not really attempting to find out what you think and feel, want and need, that should give you cause for concern. Does the other person ever ask your opinion? Do they seem interested in what interests you? Do they have your best interests at heart? Begin to pay attention to that detail.

This is just the beginning of the conversation. Stay tuned for a longer blog article exploring the issue more in-depth!