Summer is well underway, and we are in the thick of it! Studies have been done for a while, and there has been time to take a break and enjoy the warm weather along with opportunities to rest, relax, and recharge.

The Challenge of Staying Connected

But now that we have worked our way through the first part of summer, we can begin to sense some challenges to staying connected with others, especially with those close friends who are far away and with those whom we are dating long distance. Perhaps you met your good friends or your significant other at school where you could see each other regularly, but for the rest of the summer, you sadly are hours apart. That situation definitely can be difficult. How do you work with it so that it can be not just tolerated but can even be helpful and beneficial?

Make It a Priority to Stay in Touch

The first thing that you can do is to make it a top priority to stay in touch. It is so easy to slip into an “out of sight, out of mind” mentality. Make the decision and commitment to keep in touch. Set up times to FaceTime and talk live together. Organize group chats. Have a regularly scheduled online hangout time together. Be prepared with some questions to ask so that you can get a sense of how your friends are doing, and then be sure to ask them those questions. Be willing and intentional to answer them as well!

Make a mental or physical note of events, activities, stressors, issues, and growth opportunities that your friends might be facing. Be sure to then follow up and check in with them to see how those things are going. Pray regularly for them. Pray together online, or with FaceTime or Zoom. Send them quick little texts frequently to let them know that you are thinking of them and praying for them.

The Same Applies to Dating Relationships

If you are dating, it is just as helpful to do all these things as well. A healthy friendship should be the foundation and an integral part of your dating relationship. You will want to do these same intentional actions that will develop and deepen your friendship and relationship.

Grow Together Through Reading

In addition, something else you can do to be more intentional to maintain and develop your dating relationship is to read a book on dating or one on developing interpersonal relationships. You can read a book on dating principles, on the impact of your families of origin, on good communication and conflict management skills, on the theological aspects of dating, and on creating healthy boundaries in dating, just to mention a few topics.

At the CMR, we have many of these types of books available, along with a good recommended reading book list, which we are more than happy to share with you! It is beneficial for you both to get a copy of the book. That way, you both can read a chapter, think about the important points of that chapter, write down ideas and thoughts and questions, and then come together to share and discuss those items with each other.

Workbooks for Deeper Application

Moreover, several of these books also have an accompanying workbook. It is very advantageous for you both to get a copy and work through the workbook. Doing so makes your level of understanding and application much deeper, personal, and practically applicable. It is helpful for you both to complete the workbook chapters independently and then come together to discuss and explore your results.

Listen well to each other. Be open and curious. Be receptive to what the other person has to say, rather than hoping to hear a specific response from them. And if they do say something that is different from what you were wanting to hear, don't take it personally. Instead of getting upset, ask questions and be curious. Strive to understand them, their perspective, and where they are coming from. When you can do that, your relationship really will deepen, grow, and develop.

Try Writing Letters

Another option is old school, but it can be very endearing to write physical letters to each other! It shows effort and intentionality. It demonstrates that you are thinking of the other person and are willing to make the effort to let them know that they are important to you. And it actually is very fun to receive a card or letter in the mail!

Make Plans to See Each Other (If You Can)

This particular option may not be available to everyone, but if you live close enough, make plans to get together a few times over the summer. Seeing each other face to face is always helpful to stay connected, and it is fun!

Don’t Wait—Take the Lead

One final thought… Don’t just wait for someone else to get the ball rolling. Be bold and take the initiative! It would be a waste to miss out on opportunities to connect with others just because everyone is waiting for someone else to take the lead.

So get started and get going! A fun, rich, deepening connection with others is waiting for you!