What’s REALLY Haunting Your Marriage?
In this special Halloween-themed episode of The Art of Relationships, Dr. Chris and Alisa Grace uncover the “marriage monsters” that quietly creep into relationships when we’re not paying attention. From unspoken expectations and avoidance to contempt and emotional disengagement, these hidden habits can quietly erode intimacy, trust, and connection.
With their signature blend of biblical wisdom, psychological insight, and real-life experience, Chris and Alisa share how to identify these relationship “haunts” and—more importantly—how to fight back with humility, honesty, and grace.
Whether you’re navigating challenges with your spouse, fiancé, or close relationships, this episode offers hope-filled, practical tools to turn your “haunted house” back into a safe haven.
Key Topics Covered:
- The “Ghost of Unspoken Expectations” — how hidden assumptions breed frustration and resentment.
- The “Skeleton of Avoidance” — why silence and peace-at-any-cost can quietly destroy connection.
- The “Monster of Contempt” — the biggest predictor of divorce and how to replace it with appreciation.
- The “Phantom of Emotional Disengagement” — how busyness and neglect drain intimacy and what to do about it.
Resources Mentioned:
- Repair Checklist (Gottman Institute) — Practical statements to de-escalate conflict and build understanding.
- FamilyLife Weekend to Remember Marriage Getaway – Monterey, CA — Three days of teaching, connection, and renewal for couples.
- The Art (And Science) of Relationships — A 7-lesson online course from the CMR combining Scripture and research-backed insights on communication, conflict, and connection.
Connect with Us:
- Website: cmr.biola.edu
- Facebook: facebook.com/biolacmr
- Instagram: instagram.com/biolacmr
- YouTube: www.youtube.com/@biola-cmr
Join the Conversation:
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About the Hosts:
Chris Grace, Ph.D., and Alisa Grace are passionate about helping people build and sustain healthy relationships. As leaders of the Biola University Center for Marriage and Relationships, they combine the wisdom of Scripture with scholarly research to offer practical advice and insights. Learn more about their work at cmr.biola.edu.
Authors
Chris Grace
Chris Grace, Ph.D., is a professor of psychology at Rosemead School of Psychology and Director of the Biola University Center for Marriage and Relationships. With degrees in psychology from the University of Northern Colorado (B.A.) and Colorado State University (M.S. and Ph.D. in Experimental Social Psychology), he has taught and written extensively on relationships, marriage, and the integration of faith and psychology. Honored with awards for both teaching and scholarship, Chris is passionate about making research and biblical wisdom practical and accessible. Together with his wife, Alisa, he speaks nationally to couples, singles, and churches, and co-hosts The Art of Relationships podcast, equipping thousands with tools to build stronger, Christ-centered relationships.
Alisa Grace
Alisa Grace ('92) serves as the co-director of the Biola University Center for Marriage and Relationships where she also co-teaches a class called "Christian Perspectives on Marriage and Relationships." While she speaks and blogs regularly on topics such as dating relationships, marriage, and love, she also loves mentoring younger women and newly married couples, speaking at retreats and providing premarital counseling. Alisa and her husband, Chris, have been married over 30 years and have three wonderful children: Drew and his wife Julia, Natalie and her husband Neil, and their youngest blessing, Caroline.
