Ask the Expert

Dear CMR,

I have been dating my girlfriend for five years, and I’m getting ready to propose. She has taken out loans to pay for grad school, but I have a nest egg I can use to pay them off now. If we are getting married in 1.5 years, should I pay off her school loan now or wait until we are married?

Signed,

Avoiding Debt

Dear CMR:

I’m the father of a 3-year-old. Neither my wife nor I ever get enough sleep. When our daughter wakes us up in the morning, I try to quietly get her out of the bedroom so my wife can keep sleeping. More often than not, however, my wife spends this time on her phone emailing, texting, and reading news and social media posts. This bugs me. The way I look at it, if one of us can get a little extra sleep, that helps us both. I’m willing to handle the morning routine solo to make that happen. I’m not, however, willing to do it so my wife can get caught up on her work and social life while I fall further behind on mine. But if a gift is a gift—I’m not supposed to say how it gets used, right? Do I have a right to be annoyed here?

—Rather Be Snoozing

Dear CMR:

We’ve been married five years, and we typically communicate well, even during times of conflict. However, we can’t seem to resolve an issue about “dating while married.” I heard on your Art of Relationships podcast that it is important to continue dating, but my spouse thinks it’s no longer necessary, and it’s too expensive. Any suggestions to help us resolve this? 

Signed, 

Done Dating?

Dear CMR,

I have been dating my girlfriend for five years, and I’m getting ready to propose. She has taken out loans to pay for grad school, but I have a nest egg I can use to pay them off now. If we are getting married in 1.5 years, should I pay off her school loan now or wait until we are married?

Signed,

Avoiding Debt

Dear CMR:

My husband and I are in crisis and on the brink of breaking up. We don't want to because we have two kids, but something has to change. What initial steps should we take in mending the relationship?

Signed, Fed Up

Is stress putting stress on your marriage? In this week's Ask the Expert, Marriage and Family Therapist Aundrea Paxton provides three practical tips to work as a team during times of stress.

Dear CMR,

My school just announced that we will be going online in the fall and I am really upset. It’s been hard to adjust to life at home with my parents and I feel like we are each reverting back to how our dynamic was in high school. How do I survive this semester at home?

Signed,

Home Alone

Dear CMR,

I went through a tough breakup at the beginning of quarantine, and I am really struggling. I am usually able to distract myself with friends and activities while going through heartbreak, but sheltering at home has made this difficult. How do I process what I am going through without falling into a pit of despair?

Signed,

Hurting